Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Things I Worry About When I Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night And Can't Go Back To Sleep

As written at 1:47am.




I haven’t backed up my hard drive in a long time. I should do that. Should I do the cloud or an old-fashioned external hard drive? Or both? What if my computer commits hari kari before I get to it? Ohmygosh what if someone breaks into our house and gets under my bed and steals my laptop and I lose all my photos and music and college essays and then I’m totally unemployable because I have nothing to show for the past six years of work?
TO DO: Back up computer.
[Likelihood of this getting done, on a scale of 1-10: 3]

Did I buy too much kale? I think I bought too much kale. Even if I were Heidi Swanson I couldn’t get through a two-pound bag on my own in a week. Crap. I know, like, three kale recipes and one of those is soup and my bed is too hot right now to even think about soup. One of those kale smoothie green monster sounds good. What goes into those? Yogurt? I don’t have yogurt. Can I use ice cream?
TO DO: Research kale recipes.
[Research: 9, Execution: 6]

Those Facebook photos make it look like my double chin is out of control. Are neck exercises in order? I really should start running again. If I weren’t always up late worrying I could get up early and run. How long would I have to run before the double chin goes away? I read some good work outs on Refinery29. I miss working out. Why don’t I work out? Ugh, because then I’d have to shower at work and I can’t think of a more stressful place to get ready for the day. Maybe I should look into that yoga studio that’s on the way to work.
TO DO: Figure out how to get J-Law's bod.
[Running: 6, Yoga: 0, Double chin disappearing overnight, -36.]

I have nothing to wear tomorrow.
TO DO: Laundry.
[10... in a few days]

I can’t believe it’s been two years since graduation. Scratch that—I can’t believe it’s been two years since graduation and I have almost nothing to show for it. I’m doomed to a life of making copies and filing. I’ll be 25 when my contract is up. Who’s going to hire a 25-year-old who’s done nothing but develop a professional phone voice and an extensive sticky-note-reminder system?
TO DO: Cry.
[10]

Good grief, why haven’t I gone back to sleep yet? I’m going to be a disaster tomorrow. Sleep. SLEEP. Sleepsleepsleepsleepsleep.
TO DO: Fall asleep. Now.
[4]

Ugh, okay, there was a reason we talked about anxiety in Bible study last week. We’re supposed to pray about everything, and worry about nothing. Stop worrying. Stop worrying. Stop worrying. Sweet, something else I’m not doing right.
TO DO: Pray.
[Prayer: 10, Coherent prayer: 2]

Speaking of things I’m not doing right, what the hell happened to this blog? It’s been 2.5 months since I posted, and a full month since I could use Lent as an excuse.
TO DO: Blog.
[5]

I can’t see my floor, and it’s not just because the lights are off.
TO DO: Clean room.
[7]

There should be an avalanche warning on the pile of books on my nightstand. If one more well-intentioned kindred spirit recommends or loans me one, I’m going to be forced to use some douchebaggy phrase like, “Sorry, I don’t have the bandwidth for that right now.” My unread magazine stack is also probably against environmental legal codes.
TO DO: Read.
[Reading words: 10, Reading something that’s not Buzzfeed or Twitter: 8].

HOW AM I STILL NOT ASLEEP. SLEEPSLEEPSLEEPCOMEONSLEEPSLEEPYOU’RESOTIREDDON’TYOUFEELHOWHEAVYYOUREYESARECOMEONNNNNNNNNNN
TO DO: Spend tomorrow as a sleep-deprived disaster; drink enough coffee to burn a hole through stomach lining.
[17]





Picture of Washington Monument taken with my iPhone, December 2012.